Wedding Business Solutions

Rob Ferre - You're doing conferences all wrong!

• Alan Berg, CSP, Global Speaking Fellow

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Are you making the most of your time at conferences, or are you just showing up and blending into the crowd? What if approaching networking with a spirit of service could transform not only how others see you, but what opportunities come your way? In this episode, Rob Ferre and I dig into why being known for generosity and involvement can do more for your business than any cold call ever could. From practical advice for introverts to the power of giving without expectations, we explore how real value comes from relationships—especially the ones you don’t see coming.

Listen to this new episode for ideas on how intentional networking and genuine service can open doors in your business and leave a lasting impact on your community.

About: Rob Ferre, CSP is a professional speaker, emcee, and entertainer from Salt Lake City, Utah. With over 20 years of experience, he’s entertained and presented to audiences around the world—from Des Moines to Dubai. After three years working for Disney, Universal Studios, and Nickelodeon in Orlando, Rob founded his own entertainment company, Life of the Party, in 2007.

A sought-after voice in the wedding and event industry, Rob has spoken at major conferences including Wedding MBA, The Special Event Show, WeddingWire World, and the Destination Wedding Planners Congress. He’s a proud member of WIPA, ADJA, and NSA (where he also served as chapter president), and holds the prestigious Certified Speaking Professional (CSP) designation—earned by only the top 15% of speakers worldwide.

Level up and grow with Rob Ferre - an exceptional speaker, emcee, and entertainer.

IG @RobFerre

RobFerre.com


If you have any questions about anything in this, or any of my podcasts, or have a suggestion for a topic or guest, please reach out directly to me at Alan@WeddingBusinessSolutions.com or visit my website Podcast.AlanBerg.com 

Please be sure to subscribe to this podcast and leave a review (thanks, it really does make a difference). If you want to get notifications of new episodes and upcoming workshops and webinars, you can sign up at www.ConnectWithAlanBerg.com  

View the full transcript on Alan’s site: https://alanberg.com/blog/


Coming to Wedding MBA this year? Join me for a brand new workshop, before the conference starts. Can't make that? Come to Charlotte NC on Dec. 3rd for a Mastermind Day. Visit www.MastermindDay.com for information and tickets on upcoming events.

I'm Alan Berg. Thanks for listening. If you have any questions about this or if you'd like to suggest other topics for "The Wedding Business Solutions Podcast" please let me know. My email is Alan@WeddingBusinessSolutions.com. Look forward to seeing you on the next episode. Thanks.

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©2025 Wedding Business Solutions LLC & AlanBerg.com

You're doing conferences wrong. Listen to this episode. See where I'm going with this one. Hey, it's Alan Berg. Welcome back to another episode of the Wedding Business Solutions podcast. I am so happy to have my friend Rob Ferre back on again to talk about something near and dear to both of our hearts. Rob, how you doing? Good to see you, Alan. And we just saw each other about two weeks ago at the national conference for nsa. Well, the international conference. It's. It's a worldwide conference that people attend from all around the world. Yes. And by the way, you have the wedding and event industry's first and second and currently only certified speaking professionals both together here. Let's hope the world does not explode having both of us here at the same time. And. And then soon. And then Rob, soon, hopefully we'll have his global speaking fellow and be join the brotherhood here. Brotherhood, Sisterhood, therehood of right now, 44 of us. We could use a few more in there, and we'll see. So, Rob, the reason I invited you on is because we go to conferences together, you and I. You've said this many times. You and I have shared more stages together than you have with anybody else, and I love that. But what I also love is that every time I'm at a conference and we're there together, I turn around and you are involved somehow, helping somebody, whether it's DJing for a social event they're having at this last conference, helping a mutual friend, Jeff Civilico, who's an amazing guy, very benevolent guy, and he was emceeing the hall of Fame dinner that we had, and he needed a straight man. He needed a straight man for comedy, and you were the straight man for this. You and I have also danced together on stage when you introduced me one time. And what struck me when I saw you doing that is you play that part that needs to be played wherever it is, whatever it is, and you go all in on that. But it also struck me as how many people know you at these conferences? I have the feeling, and I don't know if I'd be wrong, because I've been in NSA for 18 years, that you probably know more people or are known by more people than I am because of doing what you do with that, and I just love that. So tell me, when you're approaching going to a conference like that, like the thing with Jeff, did you know that ahead of time or did he ask you that on site? Yeah. So Jeff and I, he approached me about two weeks before the conference, and he said, I have this idea where we're gonna revisit this bit we did two years ago when he was inducted into the hall of Fame. And so Jeff and I have this trust with each other. He knows that I can show up and create those moments of laughter with him. But the thing is, I've known Jeff probably about 10 years now, where I saw him speak at a conference here in Utah. But my whole M.O. when I go to these conferences, and this may not be everybody's MO Is to be known, and. And I like to be known in the sense of leveraging relationships, learning people and what they do with their businesses so I can learn more from them. And also, I look at this as an opportunity to showcase. And sometimes people don't approach that opportunity with that same mindset. Where can I help? Where can I serve first? And so my first NSA conference, I was already serving. I was helping with the Youth conference in 2016, and. And I DJed their youth conference. And then year after year, I helped out in many different ways. And there's also ways that I've inserted myself into the conversation by seeing a need and addressing that need. A couple of years ago at Influence, we were having our breakout sessions. We went to Covid, and those breakout sessions slowly came back. But I saw a need where we needed room hosts, people who were picking up the mic, running the mic, making sure that people were gathering in, moving to the center of the aisle, or, you know, making enough room for everyone, things of that nature. And I'm in this session where we have some speaker bureaus who are addressing the audience. And there was problems with the audio, There was problems with the. With the projector. And I would just get up and I would help. The reason I bring up the story is I approached NSA and I said, you know what we need? We need some room hosts. And they said, that's an excellent idea. We used to do it. Do you want to be the person who organizes that? I said, for sure. And so I have been working on that for the last couple of years. And we brought those room hosts back, and guess what? I wasn't in charge of this year because somebody else stepped up. And I want to give you her name. Her name is Elena Levine. And she actually approached me a couple years ago and said, how can I get more involved? How can I become more known? How do I get on the main stage? She's like, how did you do that? And I said, service serving first. And so she took on that role. And so she's doing exactly Kind of the playbook that I was teaching her. But what I love about Elena is she approached me a couple years ago back in Orlando, and she said this to me, when you emceed in Nashville, you made me feel seen. You made me feel like I'm a part of this community now. Because she actually went to NSA back in 2016 and didn't feel like this was her community. And I was able to make her feel seen in Nashville. And now here she is serving on her board of her chapter, and she's also serving us at the conference itself. And I asked her to be one of my runners. I'm always there to serve, and it doesn't have to be in a capacity where I'm having the spotlight, but a capacity where I'm serving others. Right. And that's, again, people see that when you give without expecting back. I'm known for my music over at nsa, which is funny, because outside of, you know, when my speaking, other than the piano videos I've been putting on, people don't even know that I play. But in nsa, I get the call this year, they wanted a band for our fundraiser, and I said, absolutely. And I had no time to make this happen. And of course, you know, you and I are very much alike. It's like, we can't do it halfway. If we're going to do it, it's going to be done right. And I thought, oh, AI can save me here. I can have AI make up the books with the lyrics and the chords and all that. And it gave me lyrics and chords, and they were horrible. They were just awful, and I could not use them. So then I had to do it right. And I had to make three ring binders with the lyrics so that everybody had what they needed. And I got the musicians and I got the instruments, instruments and all that. But NSA also knows I can make the call. I can ask Alan. And I also know if I can say no. I didn't say no this time because it's also a passion of mine for the music. But I've met so many people through national speakers, through music, where back in 2008, I joined in 2007. 2008, it was in New York City. And I don't even remember how this happened, but there was a music theme. And somebody said, how about we have a jam session? And I volunteered. Well, and, hey, I live in New York. I can drive in my instruments. And I brought in two keyboards and guitar amp and bass amp and a guitar and a bass and all this stuff. And filled my car up and brought all this in. And I got to meet hall of Fame speakers and I got to meet CSPs, and I got to meet people on a level playing field where those acronyms and don't mean anything after the name right now, because we're all just sitting here playing music, and that then backs into these relationships. And, you know, the same thing happens, you know, in our industry if you're going to your wipa Nace Aylea local chapter of whatever, you know, are you just sitting back and waiting for somebody to give you business, or are you getting involved? So you were the one that they think of when they need someone for something. And, you know, that's really the key is, you know, don't pay your dues and then not show up to a meeting, and then don't pay your dues, show up to a meeting and, you know, eat your food and drink and then leave. There's no value to you, and there's no value to anybody else there. So, you know, coming from that place of service. So I get the feeling this has always been your way, or did you have to? Did Disney beat this into you? No, this has always been my way. My speaking coach and my business coach. His name's Nathan Kettler. He is the Alchemist of awesome. And he helped unlock something for me. He said, when you talk to people from the past, you're going to tell them you're doing what you've always been doing. And I thought that is an amazing concept, because when people ask me, so, what are you doing these days? Oh, I'm doing what I'm always doing. I am being a part of a connected community and creating collaboration and opportunities for people to smile, to create joy. And I was doing this in elementary school. I would insert myself into the TV channel that we had there. I would audition for plays. I was on student council. I was on the front row of every sports game, cheering on my friends. So this was something that's in my DNA. And I know that may not be in everybody's DNA, but it's something where I'm a champion of my friends and I go support my friends. My wife's the same way. She goes to all her friends shows. And she has so much goodwill within that community. People are always calling her for advice. People are looking to her as a leader. And so for me, it's also banking goodwill. But what happened? My business changed in 2020 with the pandemic, but it also changed shortly after that when I started collaborating With Jeff Civilico. He asked me to join him on the main stage at nsa and I did a two minute bit with him and actually I did two two minute bits with him and it was wonderful because it changed the perception of who I am within nsa. They saw me on that stage and they said, oh, I could see him doing more on the main stage. And so the next year, I was the emcee for the national conference. And guess what that led to introductions to speaker bureaus. And that's what happened. My friends started seeing me serving and they thought, why not introduce Rob into my trusted circle of bureaus and meeting planners? And that's how I got a lot of my work. I don't actually like cold calling. I don't like pounding the pavement. But what I like to do is serve and I like to leverage relationships. And those relationships have led to a lot of the business that I have today. I am with multiple speaker bureaus and agencies because of those introductions and those friends. Right? Because of the giving. But let's talk about people listening that it's not their way. Right? Right. We know that a lot of people in the wedding and event industry, including a lot of DJs, are introverts. I actually did an episode about that with Rod Baker. A lot of speakers are introverts. Right off the stage, they're introverts. So let's talk about the people that this is not their natural way, right. To just go there and to, you know, put themselves out there. And I would say, you know, I'm pretty much an extrovert, but if I walk into a situation where I don't know people, you know, that introvert comes back, right? That little bit of, I don't know, I don't know people here. And that's why I always try to invite people into my circle when I see that person outside. That's why I volunteer as an ambassador for first timers. So they don't feel like Elena did at her first conference. They feel welcome from the beginning. So what would you say to people that, you know, they're going to a networking event for the first time, maybe? Right. They don't know anybody there. They've just joined. What advice would you give them? I approach meetings differently than I did when I first started. I would first go to these meetings and I try and get to know everyone. I would bounce around and I try and meet you and you. And I would look at the person who was wearing the tie and the suit. I thought, this person's got a lot of Influence this person maybe got a lot of money. Then I learned the concept of relationship arrogance. Relationship arrogance is judging somebody based on the perceived value they will give back to you. And so I'm looking at Alan Berg as the most influential person in the room. But next to Alan is somebody who's maybe a little bit more introverted. And maybe if I dived into a conversation with that person, I'd maybe gain a lot of knowledge because this person is in high demand. And so I look at it now as instead of know everyone, know someone instead of everyone, know someone. And I've had one of my favorite conversations this year was at lunch where I sat down to some. Sat down next to someone who I didn't really know. And we just started talking about her business. And it blew me away how she became a speaker. And, and it was completely by accident where she built a house watching YouTube videos. But she learned how to be a speaker along the way. And she's a 20 to $30,000 speaker. I wouldn't have known it if we didn't have that conversation. So, number one, know someone, not everyone. Also, when you start having these conversations, lead with empathy, lead with questions, but have better questions than the normal people have. So what do you speak on? That's the normal question that everybody likes to ask at a dj or what do you do? Or what maybe at a DJ conference, what are those questions that are constantly being asked? But if you can dive a little bit deeper or ask questions that help each other where you're having an actual conversation. And so for those introverts, also maybe create opportunities. Do you know Beth Z. From the speaking world? Oh, yeah. And she's. She's your nerdy best friend. And we do these dine arounds at these NSA conferences. And one time I saw on the spreadsheet, everybody goes to these different restaurants, right? And they host people. Well, she created a space for introverts, and she said, we're staying at the hotel, we're coming to my room. Four people max. We're sitting around and having pizza. So she created a space for the introverts and you can create space for people like yourself. Or when you go to a meeting or an event, look at the RSVP's and have two or three people that, you know, you want to connect with and let them know that. And if they, when I say let them know that, let them know that in advance, Maybe send them a message on LinkedIn, send them a text. I'm eager to connect with you. If we don't connect. I'm happy to connect afterwards. Also, if you get overwhelmed and you're meeting so many different people, you can say, I would love to dive deeper into this conversation. Would you be open to having a cup of coffee? When we don't have so much craziness going on, then you can leverage that opportunity down the road on a zoom call, in person, whatever it may be. So have a list and don't try and get to know everyone because it's going to overwhelm you. Yeah. Rod Baker had suggested, he said he walks into the room and he looks for the most uncomfortable person in the room. Yes, I remember this. He said, if it's me, I look for the next most uncomfortable person in the room and then walk up and talk to them. And I love the lunch, the hallways. I just recorded it actually probably came out right before this. A woman named Rosemarie who was in a powered motorized scooter type thing. It wasn't a wheelchair, but it was a power scooter she had. Turns out she's been in a wheelchair for 25 years. Terrible thing. She's riding her bicycle and a 7,000 pound tree fell and the tree fell on her. Right. The fact that she survived is just amazing. But she advocates now for making your spaces and your workspace truly handicapped accessible. So, you know, not just putting a sign up, but actually making it. And she told the story about how she goes in this hotel and she goes to the bathroom. It says handicap, you know, it's wheelchair accessible. She goes to the stall and the stall door opens in so she can't get her chair in and close the door because it's. It needs to open out for her to be able to get in there. So she brought the manager in and said, hey, you know, this is not it. But how did I meet her? I was making a cup of tea and I saw her next to that and she was waiting for me to finish and I said, oh, can I help you with something? Right? And we just started talking and she had recently been interviewed by the Knot for an article about making your wedding handicaps accessible. And I had her on the podcast. Why? Because I was making a cup of tea, right? Yeah, but I was making a cup of tea and I was just, let's have a conversation. We had a great conversation there. And this to me is, you don't show up, these don't happen. You don't put yourself out there. They don't happen. And even if you're an introvert, go find another introvert. Right? You know, we've told the story before, but it's been a while since you've been on about how you and I met, Right? Talking about not making it transactional. I'm speaking at a conference, and you're like, oh, Alan Berg speaking over at this conference. And I'm walking down the hall and I saw you and a guy named Alex, and we just start talking. And I said, hey, I'm. I'm hungry. I'm getting dinner. You guys want to grab dinner? And the three of us just sat and had dinner. Right? Again, not Alan, the stage guy, Alan. It's just Alan, Robin, Alex just sitting, having dinner. And Alex, who happens to have cerebral palsy, by the way. So a lot of people stay away from him because they don't understand. But it was you, me, and Alice just sitting there having dinner. Right? Well, that's what, you know. Where does prejudice come from? Prejudice comes from not understanding. Right? You don't know anybody like that, therefore you don't understand that. Meanwhile, Alex is a dj, right? With cerebral palsy. He's a dj and he tries. And he got his driver's license and, you know, just wonderful. So the idea of getting the most out of an event is giving. And if you are an introvert, what Rob said about asking better questions, get them talking. You don't have to be talking. I've said this before. When you ask someone what do you do? They say what they do. Next question. What do you love about that? And watch their face light up and watch them talk from their soul about that. And then keep asking them questions. And eventually they might say, oh, so Rob, what do you do? Right. Well, and one of my favorite questions I now ask is getting personal, but it has to do with their business as well. But then you start diving into who they are as a person. When you achieve in a goal, how do you reward yourself? How do you celebrate? When you get home for an event, what's the first thing that you do? Oh, I kiss my wife. I snuggle my cats. And then if you find that other cat person, now you're just talking about cats. That's. That's kind of what I do. Right. But I love cats. You want every conversation to come back to cats is what you say. Exactly. But the idea is to you dig a little bit deeper and you can relate it to business, but go beyond the business. What's a bucket list? Destination. Where do you see yourself in 10 years when you do this? Why do you do it? And so now you're asking Questions that dig a little bit deeper, you're getting off the surface. And so a couple more tactics to my introvert friends is take time for yourself. Maybe during those breaks, maybe you take lunch up to your bedroom, and you just take that moment for yourself and you say, okay, I'm going to recharge my battery and I'm going to do this. You know, Kelly Swanson seems like one of the most extroverted people we know. She is a storyteller. She's a hall of fame speaker. She's an introvert. She says, I go back to my room intentionally just to decompress, to recharge my batteries because she wants to be on for people. But she also knows she needs to take time for herself. And so that's not a bad thing. Maybe you find other introverts where you can start masterminding and talking about what you just learned. Yeah, yeah. But again, it's. First thing is showing up. Right? The investment in showing up is, you know, that's the first step. The second thing is showing up intentionally. And I don't even look at the schedule when I come to a speaker conference, because I know I'm going. And then maybe on the way there, I'll go to see which sessions do I want to go to. But when I think about all of the wonderful things that have happened at lunch, at dinner, in the hallway, you know, when at our awards dinner, they ask, you know, who do you want to sit with? And I always say, whoever, just put me somewhere. Because put me somewhere is I'm going to meet somebody new. Put me somewhere is I'm not going to sit with the people that I know, because I know them. I know them. How did I get to know them? Because I was sitting at a table one time where I didn't know them. And that's to do it. Side note. Yeah. I heard during Tom's piche's bit during the show that one of the beach balls hit your table and then you flashed. First of all, it was not a beach ball. A beach ball would have been a very light floating in the air, kind of a light ball. These were somewhere between a beach ball and a. An exercise ball. Okay. Yeah. So they were much bigger than a beach ball, much heavier than a beach ball. And for those of you listening, it was an awards dinner. So this is a get dressed up, either black tie. I had a suit and tie on. And. And then he's throwing these into the audience and having people pop them up like you would do at the beach, right? Except they weren't beach balls. And when the ball went to the table next to us, Pat Dwyer, another friend of ours. Yes, Pat, hit it. Instead of it going up in the air, it kind of line drive right to our table and right at me and the two ladies on either side of me. And about five water and wine glasses just went right on us. And my tie, my shirt, fortunately, no broken glass. That was amazing. My tie, my shirt, I'm sitting in water, my lap, my pants, fortunately, was Arizona that I dried up. Yeah. And he did reach out. Tom did reach out and apologize because he was told by somebody at my table. But, you know, and I did say to him, I said, listen, I get it, you know, lesson learned, and you have a story to tell. But beach balls, man, beach balls. And put your. Put your. And then he told us, he told the people that ended up with the beach balls, oh, you can take them home. But again, they weren't beach balls. Imagine this ball that's about almost three feet wide, right? And inflated. And how are you going to take that home? Like a beach ball. You can deflate right here. You need a little inflation needle to deflate it or whatever. But it's one of those. Seem like a good idea at the time. But again, I look at that and say, okay, that went wrong. And he offered to pay for the cleaning. It was just water on me, it was fine. But, you know, no harm, no foul, as far as I'm concerned. I'm not going to make a stink out of that. It's not going to make me not come to the conference, because it's a choice. It will be my choice to make a big deal out of that. My choice to have a WTF moment or whatever. And instead I'm like, all right, that was pretty funny. That did not go well. I wonder if somebody got that on video. You know, that could be my next Instagram moment or TikTok moment or something. But. But to Tom's credit, he reached out. He wanted to serve, he wanted to apologize. But that's also how he got on stage, is he was. He's the person that reaches out on the phone afterwards, sends you a voicemail, a text, and just says, it was great meeting you. And he's very genuine. And that's his super strength, is his authenticity and his warmth. One other person I wanted to mention, maybe five years ago, we didn't know who he was. His name's Chris Washburn. And Chris Washburn has done so much for the DJ and wedding community. He found a need within Wedding mba. And he started the DJ spinoff at Wedding mba. He started it just because he wanted to create a space for DJs to showcase and for all these wedding vendors to party and dance. They were doing some parties before, but they were sponsored. So he wanted to make an event that was wedding MBAs. And he gave opportunities to like 10 different DJs every year to do that. But that's one way he served in the Wedding MBA community and now he's also serving in the DJ community. He's flying all over the world. He's going to be speaking in London. Not London, but in the uk, the same conference that we spoke at years ago. And that's what he does, is he serves and he gives away his ip. Not his ip, but his intellectual, not property. What would you say his everything that he's learned along the way. Right. Well, dig it. Is his intellectual property. But he's giving away his knowledge because he understands what we understand at national speakers, which is the abundance. Right. And Cavett Robert, who founded National Speakers association, famously said, we're not trying to get a bigger piece of the pie, we're trying to create a bigger pie. So there's a piece for everybody. And that's an abundance mentality coming in with generosity. Last thing, I've mentioned this book before, but a book called Give and Take by Adam Grant. Give and Take by Adam Grant. And he talks about how the most successful and least successful people are givers, right? And then the most and least successful, right, because you have the takers who want to take without giving. You have the matchers who give because they expect you to give back somehow. And then the givers give without expecting to get back, without wanting or needing to get back. You and I do that when you're doing this. You're getting back, but it's not a straight line to getting back. You're giving without expecting. And it comes to you because of the generosity, because you're not expecting that. But the least successful people are givers who don't know when to say no and that. It's to your own detriment that you're saying that now. When I volunteered to do this band, you know, it was somewhat to my detriment, but I made it happen. I could do that. It didn't cost me money in my business, right? It didn't hurt my business. It would just more late nights and my wife having to put up with me sitting at the piano getting the chords right on all of these songs and things. But you Know, I also know when to say no. It's like, you know what? That's a great opportunity. I appreciate you thinking of me, but now is not the right time for that. Right now, when you say no when we're in instances like this, I think we need to be a resource for people, and I've done that as well. So when I said to Cigar Peg, I no longer want to DJ the events, I believe it's time for me to hand it over to somebody else. And I found Rob Clark, who a DJ and a speaker who's also active in that community, and I handed it over to him and I said, this is a great opportunity for me to hand this over to somebody. Instead of leaving Ed Rigsby, who's in charge of the Cigar Peg, high and dry, I found somebody else. Jeff Civilico did the same thing this year. Phil Jones asked him to provide entertainment. What did Jeff say? Guess what? Let's showcase some other talent. I don't. People have seen me. People know me. Let's put a spotlight on some other talent that people may not know. And so that's what we can do is serving others by giving them the spotlight, right? And I think, again, thinking of that abundance, you know, there's always something, where did I lose a gig to somebody else? Might I lose a gig? And I always remind people how much is out there, right? And if you're worrying about what you're not getting, you're focusing on the wrong thing. When I left the knot in 2011, so many people wanted to help me, and I didn't ask when they heard that I had left and under the circumstances, and they, they. They wanted to help me. And that's. That's the proof to you that you've been giving is when people want to help you when you're not asking, right? They see that you need or even perceive that you might need and say, how can I help you? And how can I help you without expecting back is that again, that give and take, that's being a giver. And again, it's like you said, if I can't do it, let me help you find someone who can. And I think that's great. So we've been talking longer than we normally talk on, but, Robbie, you and I, you know, we could do this forever in. In English or Poisible Espanol. But, Rob, thank you so much for coming on. Thank you for your generosity in sharing these ideas. But I just, you know, seeing you on stage and doing what you do, I said, you know, what you're the right person to show people how giving brings back to you when you're not expecting and you're giving. And let's face it, you were having fun there, too. You're doing this and you're having fun. You're having fun. So thank you for joining me again, having in the notes, if you want to follow Rob, please do. Amazing person, amazing dj, great mc, game show host, you know, look him up there and we'll see you at the next event. Bye, everyone.


I’m Alan Berg. Thanks for listening. If you have any questions about this or if you’d like to suggest other topics for “The Wedding Business Solutions Podcast” please let me know. My email is Alan@WeddingBusinessSolutions.com or you can  text, use the short form on this page, or call +1.732.422.6362, international 001 732 422 6362. I look forward to seeing you on the next episode. Thanks.

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Alan Berg, CSP, Global Speaking Fellow

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