Wedding Business Solutions

Interpreting the silence!

• Alan Berg, CSP, Global Speaking Fellow

Share episode

Interpreting the silence!

What does it really mean when you don’t hear back from a potential client—is it rejection, a fake lead, or just something else taking priority in their life? Are you letting the “story you tell yourself” block future business? In this episode, I dig into how we interpret client silence, challenge some common assumptions, and share actionable ways to keep the conversation (and your confidence) going until you have real answers.

Listen to this new 8-minute episode for a fresh perspective on ghosting, tips for persistent follow-up, and practical advice on not letting silence steal your sales.

If you have any questions about anything in this, or any of my podcasts, or have a suggestion for a topic or guest, please reach out directly to me at Alan@WeddingBusinessSolutions.com or visit my website Podcast.AlanBerg.com 

Please be sure to subscribe to this podcast and leave a review (thanks, it really does make a difference). If you want to get notifications of new episodes and upcoming workshops and webinars, you can sign up at www.ConnectWithAlanBerg.com  

View the full transcript on Alan’s site: https://alanberg.com/blog/


Are you going to Wedding MBA? Use the promo code - Alan - to save $20 off your tickets, at www.WeddingMBA.com 

And don't worry, if you can't use your tickets this year, they're transferrable or you can hold them to use next year.

I'm Alan Berg. Thanks for listening. If you have any questions about this or if you'd like to suggest other topics for "The Wedding Business Solutions Podcast" please let me know. My email is Alan@WeddingBusinessSolutions.com. Look forward to seeing you on the next episode. Thanks.

Listen to this and all episodes on Apple Podcast, YouTube or your favorite app/site:

©2025 Wedding Business Solutions LLC & AlanBerg.com

How do you interpret the silence? Oh, what is he talking about? Listen to this episode and find out. Hey, it's Alan Berg. Welcome back to another episode of the Wedding Business Solutions podcast. This is another episode sparked by a book that I was listening to. And I apologize, I can't remember which book, because I listened to books back to back to back to back to back, and usually two at a time. So interpreting the silence, what does their silence mean? And this is kind of just another way of talking about ghosting. But I thought it was a really interesting approach because instead of calling it ghosting, it's silence. And what they were talking about in the book is exactly that.

When you send a message to someone, call, leave a message, text, whatever, and then don't hear anything back, that's silence. Now, we've labeled that ghosting. That's kind of something that we've all been calling it, but really what it is is just silence, and we don't know what it means. So does their silence mean they're not interested? Does their silence mean they've gone in another direction? Does their silence mean they're in a planning meeting talking about it? Does their silence mean they're trying to find the funds to work with you? The thing is, we just don't know. And, and too many people are interpreting the silence to mean the worst possible negative thing, meaning, or it's a fake lead. Right? So to me, that would be the worst possible fake thing is it's a fake lead. That's what it is.

Right.

But otherwise it's, oh, they've gone with somebody else.

Right?

That's what it is. That's what you're interpreting the silence. I think Brene Brown called it the story I'm telling myself. So that's another way of just going about this. The story I'm telling myself is this is what they've done. My price is too high. Or they're just a bott feeder or, you know, they're, they're, they're, they're looking for just the best deal. And it's the story you're telling yourself, it doesn't mean it's true because you have no facts to back that up.

Even if all they did is ask about price. Because just because someone asks about price doesn't mean they can't afford what you do. And matter of fact, I was just having this conversation with a friend today, and they were talking about a meeting that they were in, and there was a photographer in there, and people asked if they had pricing on their Website and the, the photographer didn't and everybody else in this group looked at them and said, why not? We live in a world where you're used to being able to go online and get pricing about anything, anytime and not having it. That lack of transparency could be losing you business from people who can afford you. Now I always suggest price range as opposed to exact pricing because I still want to leave them wanting to know more and not get the exact price. That said, I know a lot of people that put exact prices on their website. And this way when someone reaches out, price should not be an issue at that point. And I remember years ago you would never see prices in ads on very high, I should say this, on higher priced goods, I don't want to say very high because it's not for me to say what's very high or not.

Right.

And way back when, a long time ago, before I was in this business, when I was in the car business, you would put ads in, but you would always put in that cheap car ad, that cheap price, like the lowest price in there that you were leading with. But you would never see a price in there for an ad for a Mercedes or Maserati or anything like that. And now it's nothing to open up, you know, the right type of a publication or website and see an ad for a six figure vehicle, right. Something over $100,000. Because the people that can afford it, they need to know how much it is too. So showing them that isn't going to scare them away because if they can afford it, they can afford it. And the same with like a real estate ad, you know that, that seven figure house, that $5 million home. Yeah, there's a lot of people who can't afford that.

But the ones that can want to know how and maybe they're looking at homes that are between 3 and 6 million, whereas other people are saying, well, I can only afford 1 million, which is still a lot of money. Well, I guess in California that's a bungalow now, right? Isn't that what that is? But the point being the silence is something that you actually have just no information on. And most likely going back to Brene Brown with this, it's the story you're telling yourself that you believe to be the fact when you don't have any facts, all you have is silence. So how do you interpret that silence? I choose to interpret the silence that they have priorities on other things that are taking them away from this and this email, this message, this decision. And I'm going to Keep following up until somebody tells me we have gone in a different direction because then I have a fact, or until they say, yes, I want to go with you. And I had that happen today. Somebody responded to one of my messages and said, you know, can I, you know, can I. Does it have to be just me on the consultation or could I have my business partner with me? And I said, no, absolutely, you can have your business partner.

Did you have any other questions or would you like to schedule? And they came back and they said, oh, we're making a new website. Should we talk with you before we do it or should we wait until it's finished and have you look? And I said, that's a great question. Please don't wait until you're finished and have me look because you're not going to want to hear what I have to say then because you're not going to want to make the changes. And I said, I would suggest doing it sooner. And they came back and said, okay, give me the link so we can schedule.

Right.

And this all happened through email, by the way. I didn't ask them for a phone call. I didn't try to force for a call. We were having a conversation. But it takes sometimes your next message going to them to get them to respond. Interpreting the silence. I had one time somebody reached out about having me do sales training for their team and it was, you know, to follow up, better to convert more leads, things like that. We had a call and I followed up at, when I said I was going to, they didn't answer.

Emailed, called, emailed, called, nothing, you know, let it sit a little bit, came back. And finally, after a long time of silence, weeks of silence, when I was following up, leaving messages and emailing, I finally sent a message that said, don't you wish your sales team was as persistent as I am? And that got them to respond and said, yes, that's exactly what we wish our team was. Was that so? Maybe a little bit of humor. Maybe a little bit of a, ooh, that hurts a little bit. I've sent a similar thing where it's like, don't you wish your people followed up as much as I do? Same thing I want them thinking, yes, that's exactly what I want. So interpreting the silence. Just remember that I would say most of the time you are imparting a thought into what that is when you really don't have anything to. To back that up.

Right?

Because all you have is the silence. And if all you have is the silence, you really don't know what's going on. So it is the story you're telling yourself and that story you're telling yourself may not be true. As a matter of fact I would say a lot of the times it's not true and if you don't keep following up you'll never find out what was. You'll just keep assuming well they weren't interested because they're not responding. I just had DJ Marek thanks for listening and you said I can keep shouting you out here. Sent me a message that just made a sale from his ninth follow up and the bride apologized to him for not having gotten Back to him 9th Follow up when most of you are giving up after one or two. So remember stop telling yourself that story and tell yourself they're still interested.

They just have other priorities right now and I'm going to be the one that's on the top of their mind when they're ready. Thanks for listening.

I’m Alan Berg. Thanks for listening. If you have any questions about this or if you’d like to suggest other topics for “The Wedding Business Solutions Podcast” please let me know. My email is Alan@WeddingBusinessSolutions.com or you can  text, use the short form on this page, or call +1.732.422.6362, international 001 732 422 6362. I look forward to seeing you on the next episode. Thanks.

Listen to this and all episodes on Apple Podcast, YouTube or your favorite app/site:

©2025 Wedding Business Solutions LLC & AlanBerg.com


People on this episode

Head Shot

Alan Berg, CSP, Global Speaking Fellow

Host