Wedding Business Solutions

Tipping at Events, what's acceptable?

• Alan Berg, CSP, Global Speaking Fellow

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Tipping at Events, what's acceptable?

Tipping at events: What’s acceptable in today’s culture? Is it okay to have a tip jar if the host hasn't prepaid gratuities? How about a QR code for digital tips? Join me as I explore the nuances of tipping at events, addressing these questions and offering guidance on navigating this delicate topic.

Listen to this new 7-minute episode for insights on managing tipping expectations and modern solutions for gratitude gestures at events.

Episode Summary: 
In this episode of the Wedding Business Solutions podcast, I delve into the topic of tipping at events, inspired by a question from Mary Lee in Connecticut. As tipping culture seems to be everywhere these days, I explore whether having a tip jar or utilizing QR codes for services like Venmo is appropriate when the host hasn't prepaid tips for bartenders. I stress the significance of having a discussion with the event host about their tipping preferences and ensuring everything is handled professionally. I also share my thoughts on the confusion surrounding service charges versus gratuities, noting how perplexing these can be for both guests and event planners.

If you have any questions about anything in this, or any of my podcasts, or have a suggestion for a topic or guest, please reach out directly to me at Alan@WeddingBusinessSolutions.com or visit my website Podcast.AlanBerg.com 

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View the full transcript on Alan’s site: https://alanberg.com/blog/



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I'm Alan Berg. Thanks for listening. If you have any questions about this or if you'd like to suggest other topics for "The Wedding Business Solutions Podcast" please let me know. My email is Alan@WeddingBusinessSolutions.com. Look forward to seeing you on the next episode. Thanks.

Listen to this and all episodes on Apple Podcast, YouTube or your favorite app/site:

©2025 Wedding Business Solutions LLC & AlanBerg.com

Tipping culture, it's everywhere. But what about at events? Listen to this episode and find out. Hey, it's Alan Berg. Welcome back to another episode of the Wedding Business Solutions podcast. This is an Ask Me Anything from Mary Lee in Connecticut. At events, you have the possibility of. Not the possibility, but maybe the expectation that some people might receive gratuities, and that includes bartenders and people like that. So the question is, should a on a bar, if the host has not prepaid tips for bartenders, is a tip jar acceptable? And then these days, the extension of that is if that is acceptable since people don't necessarily carry cash.

What about a QR code for Venmo or Zelle or something like that? Would that be acceptable? So the whole idea of tipping culture is kind of crazy these days. I'm actually listening to a book and they were talking about this researcher up at Cornell University, which is very big on hospitality and talking about tipping culture. This guy's been Studying for over 30 years on, you know, how people do tip in different countries and different services and things. And now it's really crazy because you, you know, you get asked for a tip almost everywhere now if you're paying with your credit card. I got asked once at the airport when I myself out at one of the convenience stores in the airport. It asked if I wanted to give a tip. And I was wondering, how do I get that tip? If I tip myself, how does that happen? Right? So it's kind of weird that people leave that on there. I know when I have square, when I sell books at events, I have the ability to turn tips on or not.

And I don't turn it on because it doesn't make any sense for that. But I think some people just leave it on. I also saw one where somebody posted that they were somewhere and the, that the base tip, like it offered three different tipping things, which not uncommon at restaurants. You might see 18, 20, 22%, sometimes 20, 25, 30%, and this one was 30%, 50% and like 80% or 100% seems kind of like a little forward on that maybe. So going back to the idea of tipping in an event, I know if I walk up to a bar and if the bartender is friendly and very helpful and very attentive and maybe even coming back and ordering and they remember your Dr. Drink. Not unusual for me to want to give them something. And yes, I don't always have cash or I don't always have, you know, smaller denomination cash.

I always carry some in my wallet just in case I Wouldn't mind tipping that way. In San Diego, there is a free service that has these extended golf carts that can drive you around town. You can call it with an app and it's free, but on the back of the partition behind the driver, the driver puts their QR code for Venmo, and you can tip the driver that way. And I found that very convenient. So it brings up a whole bunch of different things. First of all, I think it should be brought up to the host. Is tipping acceptable? Would a tip jar be acceptable? And if tip jar is acceptable, then a QR code would be acceptable. And if they don't want that to be happening at their event, then prepaying the tips and covering that and having the bar staff say, it's already been covered by your host.

Thank you very much, but no, that's a nice way to say, hey, you've been taken care of here. So I think if it was my event and a tip jar would be acceptable, the QR code would certainly be acceptable. If the tip jar would not be acceptable, then I wouldn't want any of that to be. But I think it has to be a discussion there. I don't think that would be the case for waitstaff servers at an event because there generally wouldn't be a tip jar or anything like that anyway. So I don't think that would be acceptable. But I think it really needs to be a discussion, and that discussion has to happen with the host of that event to say, is this acceptable or not? And if it is, then it should be done this way. And I think it should be done professionally.

I don't think it should just be some handmade. I think it should be done where it's shown. You know, if you're, you know, if you want to, you know, show some extra love here to the bartenders. This is a way that you can do it, and it's a modern way to do it. So again, I wouldn't have a problem with that as a guest. If, if a tip jar was acceptable, then a tip QR code would be acceptable. If the tip jar is not acceptable, then that should be discussion ahead of time. So thank you, Mary Lee, for bringing this up.

You know, I don't know what, what more there is to say about this. I mean, I could start certainly getting up on my soapbox about the whole tipping culture. Now, a lot of places are pre assuming or putting onto the service charge onto the receipt, and I find that confusing as a guest, because a service charge, is that a gratuity or is it not? Is that going directly to the staff or is it not? So. And then there's usually a line for tipping on top of that. So it is kind of confusing. And this is just at a restaurant for dining. I mean, I know that it is confusing for people who are planning an event for the first time, the idea of plus, plus, plus tax, plus service charge, and then the question of gratuity. Well, is that service charge a gratuity or is it not? Because legally, if you say it's a gratuity, it has to pass through to the staff.

If you say it's a service charge, it doesn't have to pass through the staff. So at an event, I understand. Being in the industry, I understand plus plus. As a diner in a restaurant, I find that very confusing. If there's a service charge of 18% and then there's a line for tipping on top of that. So does that go to the staff or not? Am I just paying their salary? What is that? So tipping culture, it's confusing these days. I think it's a little out of hand in some places, certainly with those, when they're assuming certain numbers. I get it.

If it says parties of six or more will be, you know, assess the gratuity of whatever, it's a gratuity, that's fine. If I want to tip more, I can. But I understand that, you know, they don't want to get stiffed. And then I also understand that as I travel internationally, I have to look up and see what the expectation is, because in some places it's Nothing. Some places, 10% in a restaurant or 15. Some places it's just roundup in the cab. For the cab driver, it's just a little extra something. But they're not expecting anything.

So if you are traveling internationally, you have to look it up. Going back to Mary Lee, thanks for the suggestion. I appreciate it. If you go to podcast.allenberg.com, you can click the AMA button, the ask me anything button, and put in your suggestion as well, and maybe it'll end up on a future episode. Thanks.


I’m Alan Berg. Thanks for listening. If you have any questions about this or if you’d like to suggest other topics for “The Wedding Business Solutions Podcast” please let me know. My email is Alan@WeddingBusinessSolutions.com or you can  text, use the short form on this page, or call +1.732.422.6362, international 001 732 422 6362. I look forward to seeing you on the next episode. Thanks.

Listen to this and all episodes on Apple Podcast, YouTube or your favorite app/site:

©2025 Wedding Business Solutions LLC & AlanBerg.com


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Alan Berg, CSP, Global Speaking Fellow

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