Wedding Business Solutions

Beth Sherman - We laughed, we cried... of yeah, it was the wedding speech!

• Alan Berg, CSP, Global Speaking Fellow

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Beth Sherman - We laughed, we cried... oh yeah, it was the wedding speech!

How do you navigate the art of wedding speeches to ensure they are memorable and engaging? Are your speeches concise and filled with genuine details? Do you know how to incorporate humor effectively without alienating your audience? In this episode, we explore the importance of creating personal connections through storytelling and how to set speakers up for success by considering factors like positioning and mic handling. Dive into practical tips on making every word count and keeping your audience captivated.

Listen to this new episode for insights on crafting authentic, humorous, and impactful wedding speeches while ensuring inclusivity and emotional connection.

About Beth: 

Beth Sherman is a speaker, comedian, Emmy award-winning Hollywood comedy writer, YouTube personality, and founder of Authentically Funny Speeches, a service dedicated to helping wedding speakers successfully deliver heartfelt and funny toasts and speeches.

Website:

https://authenticallyfunnyspeeches.com

YouTube channel

https://youtube.com/@authenticallyfunnyspeeches

 

LinkedIn:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/beth-sherman

 

Free Wedding Speech Writing Guide:

https://authenticallyfunnyspeeches.com/pages/wedding-speech-guide


If you have any questions about anything in this, or any of my podcasts, or have a suggestion for a topic or guest, please reach out directly to me at Alan@WeddingBusinessSolutions.com or visit my website Podcast.AlanBerg.com 

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I'm Alan Berg. Thanks for listening. If you have any questions about this or if you'd like to suggest other topics for "The Wedding Business Solutions Podcast" please let me know. My email is Alan@WeddingBusinessSolutions.com. Look forward to seeing you on the next episode. Thanks.

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©2025 Wedding Business Solutions LLC & AlanBerg.com

We laughed, we cried. Oh, yeah. It was the wedding speech. Listen to this episode. See where I'm going with this. Hi, it's Alan Berg. Welcome back to another episode of the Wedding Business Solutions podcast. I am so excited to have a new friend on Beth Sherman, who is an Emmy wedding TV writer, comedian, wedding speech writer, speaker.

I'm running out of things to say there, Beth, so thank you for joining me. How you doing today?

I'm, I'm good. I also make a mean grilled cheese sandwich. I mean, there's, is there no end to my credit?

No. My, my favorite grilled cheese sandwich that I've never eaten is in the movie Chef. Have you ever seen the movie Chef?

Yes. Yes, I have.

There's nothing sexier than just that grilled cheese sandwich that he makes there. I'm like, oh, yes. What is like four cheeses? And you know, it's probably $5 grilled cheese or something like that.

Yeah, it's a heart attack on a plate, but what a way to go.

Exactly, exactly. And if you haven't seen that movie, do that. But let's get back to what we're talking about. You and I just met at a professional speakers conference in the uk, said you have to meet Beth Sherman. And then I meet you. When I hear the American accent, I'm like, okay, you're one of a handful of us over here, but you actually live there, so. But you do besides stand up comedy, besides Emmy winning writer for TV shows like Ellen DeGeneres and stuff like that. You help people write speeches for a wedding.

So how did that get started?

I do, it's, it's a weird side hustle, but I love it so much. So I did the math. It's actually, I'm coming on eight years doing this. I was writing. I'm a TV writer by trade. I've been doing that since I was 20 years old. And we were thinking, my wife is English and we were getting ready to move out of LA or thinking about leaving la. And we knew it would happen in the next few years.

I say, what am I going to do? What am I going to do there? I don't have a ton of transferable skills. What would I do outside of, outside of entertainment? And I thought about sort of writing speeches and, but really my skill is I'm funny. So I, I put myself out there to see if anyone needed help writing a best man speech or something like that. And I did it. Honestly on, it wasn't fiverr, it was upwork, one of those. And, and Just for a couple of months to see if there was any need for it. Did A couple found out I really liked it because really my superpower that I've developed writing for all of these comedians for years is being funny in someone else's voice. Because that's what all these TV shows have writers.

And that's our gig is be funny, but make it sound like Ellen or Leno or Letterman or any of these people. And then certainly with award shows, I do it. And it turned out there was a call for it and it was my side hustle because I was still working TV jobs. And then I made my own website, and eight years later, I've worked on either ghost written or punched up in comedy. The comedy term is punch up to make something funnier. I mean, it's probably pushing a thousand speeches.

Wow.

Wow.

It's not the normal path, because the normal path. The normal path in the wedding event industry is you got asked to do that by someone and then somebody as a friend. You know, the friend, the cousin, the relative, whatever. Hey, could you help me? I have to write this speech. I could have been one of your co writers or, you know, somebody, and then somebody else was like, oh, can you help me? Can you help me? Can you help me? That's how most people fell into the wedding and event industry, is they did that. Like my. My son's partner, she's a photographer and she's got 21 first cousins. Right.

So somebody needed photography at a wedding every weekend. Yeah, exact. So, you know, that just led to her then becoming a wedding photographer. And that's how a lot of people fell into the industry. So. So you go on upwork, you're like, okay, I'm. Let me see if there's any interest to this. Tell us.

Tell me about the first one that you did. Right. What was. What was the story? What were they looking to accomplish? That they looked. They looked for help.

Well, and so when I went on upwork, I wasn't specifically looking to wedding speeches, but it was all sorts. And that, that was sort of what rose to the top. And that was what I had the most fun with because I feel like I'm using my powers for good. That's a great question. So the first one, I wish I could remember the details of it, but they follow a similar path. I get clients that come to me two different times. So either it's someone who hates public speaking, is just absolutely terrified of it, and they've literally just hung up the phone finding out the couple is engaged and so, so, so that's. It could be 18 months a year, 18 months, two years in advance.

They're already losing sleep and they want help because they just, they don't know how they're going to give a speech, let alone what they're going to say. The other category, and this was what that first one was, is people think. No, it's my buddy, I can do it. I got a pretty good sense of humor. I speak every so often at work. This doesn't. I'm not really thrown by it. Then about two weeks before the wedding, a week or two, they sit down to do it, and they realize it can be harder than it looks or just their brain explodes because now they have a million ideas and a million memories and how do you.

It sort of bottlenecks on the way out of their brain and they don't know what to do. And that's when they start frantically googling how to write a wedding speech or how to write a best man speech or father of the bride speech. And guess who shows up?

Thank you, Google.

Thank you, Google. So, and thank you, YouTube. And thank you, Google, for buying YouTube, because that's, that's a lot of what happens. I. I have a lot of videos on YouTube on exactly how to do it. And then if you want a little extra help, here I am.

There you go. So I just went through this as, you know, as many people listening know, because an episode probably couple of months before this came out, I talked about the experience for my son's wedding, more from the experience with their vendors and the things that have happened and, you know, what not to do as a vendor because they had, you know, like they, they didn't bring the glassware, they didn't bring the popcorn machine. They were setting up the bar when people are arriving and all those kind of things. But when it came to me writing my speech, my son called us a few weeks before the wedding. And I already figured I was going to say something, but he asked my wife, he said, mom, you know, would you say something? And she's like, no, dad will say for both of us. Because she's one of those people that does not want to be on stage. You know, the root canal is a much better route for her for that. And so I knew I was going to say something.

And I knew I wanted it to be short because it's not about me, it's about them. And I wanted it to be personal and then leave the floor for other people because his brother's going to make a speech her brother's going to make a speech. Her mother made a speech. Her father has passed. Her mother made a speech and then some of her closest friends did, so.

And you're not just any dad and any speaker.

Yeah, there. Then there's that, you know, one of 44 global speaking fellows in the world. The eyes are kind of on. Okay, so what is dad going to say here?

And then there's also. Don't make me follow him.

Right, I did get that. I did get that. Yeah. Was it my son, my young, my younger son who followed me, or was it her brother, one of the two. But somebody made that comment there. Okay, I have to follow it. And again, short. I gave the shortest speech.

It was. So I'm going to ask you a question. My speech, if I went back and looked at it, is probably about two minutes, maybe, maybe, maybe that long. What is, what are you shooting for when you're trying to help somebody write a speech? Is there a range, a guideline?

Well, two minutes. It was all wrong and you ruined the wedding and clearly you don't love your son. No, that's not. Well, I don't think there's, there's not a hard and fast number. But what I recommend is when you sit down to write the speech, aim for five minutes.

Okay.

And also when you ask someone to give a speech, say maybe three to five minutes. Because most people come to me, I say, did they tell you about how long they want you to speak? And they say, no, they didn't tell us anything. Nothing. I don't know anything.

Right.

I'm just drowning. So I suggest aiming for five minutes. Because if you aim for five minutes, which is about two pages, one and a half, two pages, double spaced, it's plenty of time to say everything you want to say and to say it well. And it's not so long that you're going to go over. Now, that's not to say that you don't. It has to be exactly five minutes. It just means that when you're starting and you start writing, if you hit two pages, stop writing. And that's the time to go back and start editing it.

Right.

But if you end up, if you, you know, if you give something that's, that's. You gave two minutes. I'm sure that was plenty of time to say everything you wanted to say. No one's going to say, yeah, Alan, not a big fan of his son. I thought he really loved him, but I guess not.

Yeah.

And, and some people say, well, then they'll come to me and say, well, all your videos say five minutes, and this is six and a half or seven, you know, Okay, I mean, let's trim a little fat out of it. Because most things need editing.

Right?

But that's. Because that's just the process. Everything gets better when you polish it and you tighten it. Yeah, but sometimes someone's got a good story. It's really the question is, is there an intention behind every single thing that's in there? Is there anything that is repetitive or anything that we can sort of shorten without taking the heart out of it? And because I can't write every speech and because I now charge a fee, that is to fully ghost write something that is exorbitant. I mean, it's not. No, I'm joking. No, but you get a lot of value out of it.

Right, but because I can't do that. I have. You can book a zoom. One hour, zoom with me. You write the speech and then you book a zoom with me. And we get on it and we, we edit it and we trim it together. I worked in a writer's room on TV shows for 27 years. So we become a two person writers room and we go through it and we look at everything.

But my goal is never to really take anything out. Because if you've put it in there, there's probably a reason. So how can we say that in a different way? Or how can we show that quality in a different way? How can we tick the box in a different way? Or if it's a good story, how can we just make it quicker? Sometimes you've got some people have five great examples. They, they don't know which one to cut. They don't want to. And they're all different enough. So maybe we make it a list. And then, you know, I, I have so many examples.

There was the time this happened and that happened and this happened. Not, not a they. Some they. Sometimes they can be snack sized and not a meal. So there's a lot of ways to make something smaller without ripping the heart out of it.

So. So let's talk about ripping things out. People come to you and they have stories they want to say and your inside voice is like, oh, no. Like, no, you know, you can't tell that story. How often does that happen?

Almost every time it. Well, it depends. With the best men, the number of times I've had to remind people that the reception and the speeches people have food in front of them. It's almost dinner theater. So don't put them off. It, but, but sometimes there is a reason. So I sort of have a list of. There's five P's that you shouldn't mention.

Profanity, poop, projectile vomiting. You'd be surprised how often that comes up. Politics and past partners.

Okay.

But again, nothing is chiseled in stone. And there was a guy who had a great story about his friend who, this guy had kids. His friend is only just getting married, didn't have kids, and got a taste of what fatherhood is like when the toddler basically exploded in the, in the car seat and this. But his buddy, the groom, like a champ, sort of went from shock to good uncle and, and helped. So it was okay. Let's figure out how to tell that story without being.

People get the idea. People get the idea without saying all of that. Yeah.

Yeah. So. And it was a telling story. So it felt like, well, we don't have to take it out for the sake of taking it out. But sometimes it's, you know, a lot of weird stuff from dads about, you know, talking, trying to tell the dad's referring to the groom having sex with his daughter. Yick.

Yeah. Yeah. I, I, I started my speech by, said, my son's always been a procrastinator, and it's very well known that he has been. And I said, well, if you know Adam and you've known him for a long time, you know that Adam has always been a procrastinator. It takes him a long time to make a decision, but when he does, it's a good decision. And it might have taken him 37 years to make this decision, but it's the best one that he's ever made.

Yeah, but it's so clearly said. But see, it's a dig. I mean, in comedy terms, it's a bit of a dig, but you've packaged it in bubble wrap of life love, right? You've, you've cushioned it. It is abundantly clear. And, and that's when people get roasty. I always try to give it balance.

Yeah.

And it's, it's okay. You can point out someone's flaws and, and the flaws, imperfections, maybe they're a little bit of a hypocrite. Maybe they have a tendency to do this eccentricities.

Right.

But you have to balance it so that it's. Otherwise it's just mean.

And, and it's not, it's not telling any secrets. It's well known if you, if you know him, it just takes him a long time to make a decision. So. Yeah, that's it. So, and it's also a personal thing between he and I, because when he was a boy I always used to tell him, if you open the dictionary and look up the definition of procrastinate, his picture is going to be there. And one day I took one of his little school pictures and paperclip that next to that definition. And the next time he procrastinated, I said, go get the dictionary. And he's like haha.

I said no, go get it. And of course, where does it open? Where the paperclip is and his picture is next to the definition. I said, I didn't tell you how it would get there, I just told you it would be there. Right. So it's a thing between he and I and his mother that, you know that that's him, that's his thing. So I had told you the story about a friend of mine who was told he had five minutes by his wife at his son's wedding recently. And don't talk about one of the P's. So politics.

Don't talk about that. No, I'm sorry. He was told don't talk about religion and talk about something else. And he did not go five minutes. He went 24 minutes and talked about the two things that he was told not to. And you referred to that. That was no longer a speech.

What was that, a hostage situation? I, I, I, I, I have that on a mug. Yeah, well, the, the thing is when it comes to how long the speech should be, it's, you want to include everything, you want to include and then get out. And no one should ever wonder it, it's okay if it's a little bit longer than five minutes, that, that's fine as long as there's an intention. But the thing you don't want anyone to ever wonder is not just when it, because there's other people speaking, I mean just practical reasons. There's other people speaking and also they've been drinking free champagne and beer. There's probably an open bar. I mean, think about people's physical comfort and their bladders. Yeah, it's, it's in your own interest.

You will have a better audience. You may have, you may be brilliant, but no one needs that third bowl of ice cream. You know, there can be too much of a good thing.

Yeah, this, you know, again, 24 minutes, you're just, the guests are now sitting there going, first of all, some of the guests, especially on maybe the other side, you know, in this case he was the father of the groom, the Bride's family might not know about his passion for those particular things he was told not to talk about.

They do now.

They do. They do. They absolutely do now. I, I thought it was very touching, the brother of the bride at my son's wedding. So my daughter in law's brother, he was not comfortable giving speeches. He did very, very well. So he did the speech and he's looking at my son, he's talking about, he goes, he's, he's just a nice guy. And then he goes like this.

He opens the door for her every time.

That's great.

It was, it was just so, you know, how do you express in words that he's a nice guy and that was what he chose. It's like he opens the door and hold it every time. But it was the coming from inside the passion was like, and I'm looking at my wife going, yeah, he's a good kid. He really is. He's, he's a good guy. And. But that was the thing that he chose that it was just so warming to hear.

Well, it's, it is. And it's the little things. I mean, I talk about this as a speaker because I talk about you and I met because I also work as a speaker and show people how to use humor as a tool to build connection and improve communication in business. But what I always say there, the reason I say it there is because I learned it explaining it to people who are writing wedding speeches. Don't try to be funny, just be human. Truth is funny. All comedians do is observe and report. Truth.

Truth is funny. Life is absurd. People are bonkers. Truth is funny. So, and if truth is funny, the details of that truth are hilarious. So you, you don't have to try to make big jokes. He opens the door for her every time. It's true and it's specific and it played.

You remember it, it's memorable. It's not just good, it's memorable.

Yeah.

And that's what I'm always trying to push people towards. And when I get asked about what about AI and people can get their speeches or people can just grab one off the Internet, you go, you know what, you can tell because AI can do a lot of things. They can write you just a father of the bride speech, but they don't know you. Or a father of the groom speech in your case. They don't know your son. They don't know the story of the, of you put the picture in the dictionary. They don't know it.

Right.

So who cares? I'll give you my outline. I'll tell you what order to put things in. I'll give you a template.

Yeah.

But unless you put your heart and soul and, and just a little bit of thought into the stories, that's what makes these things magic. Because it's the difference between having. I'm obsessed with food but apparently because it's the difference between having. Making a cake yourself, store bought cake or if you get me. Well, boy, I didn't think ahead with this analogy or having, working with me and getting someone to really help you create this really extraordinary cake. That people are just the couple in particular is, it's just exactly perfect for them. But you know, it's fine to have store bought cake. You have store bought cake at the office and at those things and it's not special, it's sheet cake.

Right.

But grandma or someone you like makes a cake, you go, well, that was really thoughtful.

Right, Right. The other day I brought home a jar of mayonnaise for my wife that she thought was the most thoughtful gift because she, we were over in the UK and she had Heinz mayonnaise and.

She date your wife.

She is sometimes. I'll tell you what else she's looking at. But, but I'm happy. I'm very happy. So wonderful. The mayonnaise tasted different. She looked and saw that there was mustard seed in Heinz mayonnaise. But Hellman's doesn't have that and the other ones don't have that.

And we go to the store and we go to two stores and we can't find Heinz mayonnaise. Well, I'm in another store the other day and I'm looking and happened to be the, the store brand, organic, whatever. And I looked, I just picked it up, I was like, oh, it's got mustard seed in it. So I brought it home and she's like, you got me mayonnaise, right?

Yeah, you've been working way too hard.

Yeah. Really. But let's shift just a little bit here with. You talked about you help businesses. So people listening for the most part are wedding and event businesses. So they're dealing with couples, they're dealing with clients, they're dealing with schools, they're dealing with fundraisers and stuff like that. Where is the humor appropriate or not appropriate? The stories? It's the same thing with the speech. What's appropriate, not appropriate.

What's appropriate humor? When you're talking to a couple, let's say about how you can help them with their wedding. Fill in the blank photography, entertainment venue.

Dresses, whatever well, again, I wouldn't necessarily frame it as humor. I would frame it as be a person and listening to your podcast. I've listened to a bunch of episodes today, but that's really where you come at it from as well. It's. It's being able to connect with people and, and humor is such a wonderful tool for that. But I think people hear the word humor and they think it's jokes, it's puns, it's clever wordplay. Sometimes it's. Well, I talked about how truth is funny if, when.

If you, if you need to sort of guide people tactfully away from an idea that they have, you could use a specific example of. So the reason we do this is because what can happen is. And then Grandma wants to do this, and then, you know, I mean, it's. It's those sorts of things. So if you can really illustrate your point in a way that maybe gets a smile. If someone's. I'm talking about a dance floor, and it's going to be a very tiny little dance floor, you know, they think you're trying to explain to them bigger might be better. Even though you don't think you have a lot of dancers, if you can think of a potential situation, it might be slightly exaggerated.

But, you know, you don't want Grandma falling off the edge of the dance floor because it's the size of a postage stamp, those sorts of things. So you're not trying to go in there and be a comedian. The world doesn't need. I mean, if you want to be a comedian, fantastic. But my goal in life is not trying to make more comedians. It's just trying to make people understand that maybe you just have a more colorful example of something.

And the same five Ps would apply that. Don't. Don't talk about those same five Ps.

Oh, yeah. I think that applies generally in, in business. I mean, personally, I don't particularly enjoy those if I go to a comedy club, but I'm not offended if I get them. That's just my own personal taste.

Right.

But certainly my rule. I guess the one rule I have when I'm working on these particular types of speeches, on wedding speeches especially, it's not funny unless everyone's laughing. And that covers content and tone, but that also covers, in jokes and things like that. If your goal is to have everyone laughing, if you make a reference and only 24 people are going to get it, or the frat brothers or the immediate family, everyone else is going to feel a little left Out. They're not going to pelt you with roles, but they're not going to laugh. And so the sound of 200 people laughing is a lot more fun than the sound of 25 people laughing or 50. And if people don't feel included, you're using an acronym or you're saying, oh, we used to go to the Gazoo. No, just say that.

It was the George Sherman Union. We went to school. You know, this is what the student union was called. If they. Because if they don't, once they stop, once they start to think, oh, this isn't for us, or I don't get that, then their mind starts to wander and it's hard to get them back. You're kind of digging yourself a hole.

Yeah, Yeah. I tell people, can you frame something in the form of a question to see if they're interested in finding out more about something instead of just going and telling them? Because you don't know if they're going to want to go down that path with you or not. So asking a question, you know, have you ever. Using the dance floor example, have you ever been to a place where you're on a dance floor and you're kind of like shoulder to shoulder and there's always somebody there who wants to do the. What is it? The sprinkler or whatever. You know, one of these. One of these dances and like, whoa, there's not enough room here. I can't get around.

Most people are going to say yes, and if you say yes, you say, well, wouldn't it make sense if we. If you had a little bit bigger dance voice, you have more room so that that person can do staying alive, and the rest of us can still have our thing going on here.

Yeah. No one's going to get a black eye.

Right. But framing in the form of a question first. Have you experienced this or have you ever heard of this or whatever. Where. Now I know whether. What road to go down there with me because oh, yeah, I've been there, or no, I've never seen that. Well, we've seen it a lot. And here's what could happen.

Absolutely. And that's. And that's. To me, that's humor. That's seasoning. You're making it. You're lightening the tone of the interaction.

Yeah.

And that's the whole purpose. And you're deepening connection.

Yeah.

Because now they're gonna. It's that know, like. And trust and all that sort of stuff.

Bobber, I had him on the podcast. Podcast. The. The the go giver. He was. He was here. So what advice would you give to a wedding professional who might hear from one of their couples. Right.

That, oh, you know, I have people with. I have. People have to give speeches and how do I rein them in or whatever, Besides hiring you, which we're gonna have in the context, all the contact information. Absolutely can do that. But what is the advice that you give to somebody who says, you know, my. My best man, I think he's going to go rogue on me?

Well, I. You want to set people up for success. And so one of the things is communicate early and often I let people know. I mean, have, as a wedding professional, make sure that it's communicated clearly to make sure that your couple communicates clearly to anyone who's going to give a speech, how long they would like them to speak. I also, because so many people hate speaking in public. I mean, my. My wife genuinely, genuinely hates it. So rather than saying, we'd love you to give a speech, maybe phrase that in the form of a question also sort of like jeopardy.

But phrase that note, would you be comfortable giving a speech? Because I know my wife. If, if it was assumed she would be too polite to say, no, it's someone's wedding, but if. Would you be comfortable? And if you, the per. If you get the deer in the headlights look, say, get back to me. It's, it's. It's a, you know, it's 10 months from now, just get back to me. Because then she feels like if she can think about it for a second. Doesn't feel on the spot.

Because I do see that with my clients so often. There are some people who are just. This is now a living nightmare for them, and they. It's really just sort of ruining their life. So give them an out and be clear about how long you would like it to be and say for length. Because I also have people come to me saying, okay, they said three to five minutes, but this is five minutes and 15 seconds. What can we take out? And you go, I don't think they meant. No one's going to tackle you.

Yeah, I mean, they're going to give us clocks like, like we get when we're speaking with a clock in front of us, right?

Yeah. Let them know you want them to take the spirit of the note, not the letter of the note. So say three to five minutes. Because we're probably going to have five or six speeches and we don't want to burn everyone out. Then someone understands. Okay, okay, I'm part of a team here that's delivering something.

Oh, is there a better time during a wedding to give this speech? I'm thinking earlier in the alcohol consumption.

Well, you get less heckling, I would say, generally earlier. I mean, it's up to. I would defer to your wedding professionals on what's logistically. What logistically makes the most sense to me. Sort of be earlier in the sense of maybe the appetizer, they've had the salad and they're waiting for something else. Or you're sort of. Yeah, I mean, you don't want to compete with the dance floor. Looks really enticing.

You don't want that. And I will say, having watched a lot of wedding videos or wedding speech videos and just having been to a lot of weddings, please try as a wedding professional, set your client, set these people up for success. And one of the things I see a lot that drives me nuts is, look, I spend a lot of time as a comedian. Humor, really anything you benefit from seeing the person's face. So, I mean, I was at a wedding and there was a stage and the DJ was up on the stage and all the tables were kind of in a semicircle and they had someone standing in the place to give the speeches. Was in front of the spade in front of the stage. I'm at a ten top table. I'm on the far side of it.

I'm five feet tall. I heard my cousin give the speech, but I couldn't see his face. And the face is important. The face is really important. You want to see them missed up. You want to see them smile. You want to see that eye contact that someone's making with the person that they're talking about or anybody else when he says, oh, and so, and so's Fred this and that. I couldn't see anyone.

There was a stage behind him.

Right.

So I mean, see, see where there can be the best vantage point. I also see a lot of videos where someone is giving a speech. Kind of they've positioned this person sort of looming behind the couple, which I guess makes a good photograph. But to me, as a performer, it seems really awkward because you can't really, unless you can turn your head 180 degrees like an owl, you can't make eye contact with the people you're talking about, so. Or they have them really close. So it's sort of some weird lap dance, but just sort of think it through. I realize every space is different and every couple is different, but the magic part is being able to see someone's face. Being able to see the relationship physically, you know, space wise, the interaction between the couple and the people, the speaker and the people the speaker is talking about.

So take that into consideration. Also, I would say just personally, hand mics probably not a great idea because people who don't work on a mic very often, they just, they just go walk about. They just suddenly they've decided this is the time to get those other 9,000 steps in for the day. And a lot of people get their back. A lot of people, I mean, they just wander around and suddenly they're. It's like they're Sinatra in Vegas. They're doing crowd work and it just, it makes things get a lot longer.

If that's. If you can hear them at all, because they drop their hand.

Yes.

Right. Or they all start becoming priests and they're like, yes, Beth, it was great. It was absolutely. They're waving the microphone around. Yeah. It's.

Remind them which part of the microphone to speak into and that it needs to be.

Yeah.

Consistent. But, yeah, I mean, give people, I would say when you've got the speak, find the speakers as soon as possible. Let them know where they are in the order. As a comedian, you get to the comedy club, if you're going to do a set that night, you walk in the door, and it's usually posted right on the door or in the green room, but sometimes it's right on that. The side of the front door. Okay, 805, it's Ellen Berg. 810, it's Beth Sherman. I mean, the lineup is there.

So if you can find these poor people or tell someone to find these people to come get briefed by you and say, okay, welcome, here's the order. We're going to have this. It's going to be you, you, you and you, and then it's going to start. This is when it's going to start. Then these people know, okay, I'm after Alan, I'm before Amanda, and this is going to happen after we finish dinner. That is massive for people because otherwise, every time the band gets quiet or every time a song's going to change, they're in this cat like state of readiness. Is it now? Is it now? Is it now? Is it now? And they're just in a panic. At least they know, okay, I, I know what to expect.

Yeah.

And that's a good moment also to give him a little. Here's how you use a hand mic. Don't touch it with your hand. I mean, ideally, if you want someone to stay in the shot.

So put it on a stand and just have them stand by it. That's the best thing.

I mean, if you. If you want them to stay still.

Right.

That would be my guide. Also explain to them. Maybe do a mic check with them if you can. Explain to them that they don't. Because I see a lot of people who kind of give their speech. They lean in like it's a congressional hearing. They've just leaned in because they don't know that if they just stand up straight or have someone run in to adjust it just so they're comfortable. If they're not used to doing it, I know it's not always possible, but set people up for success.

Yeah. The challenge I had is the room. It was very small restaurant and the tables were at a 90 degree angle in one room and another room. But just imagine an old house that's got two rooms connected. Yeah. So you're standing at the point where the two, two rooms meet. As a speaker, I try to make eye contact with everyone. And I had to remind myself who I was talking to because they were in a corner.

So exactly what you said. If I turn to them, we have no microphones. The only microphone was on the video microphone. There's no amplification. If I turn to the couple, one room doesn't hear me. If I turn to this room, this room doesn't hear. So I was swinging around so everybody could hear and, you know, projecting as much as I could. But I had to remind myself, as a speaker, I'm giving a speech to them.

Everybody should hear this. But it was really to them. And I was like, oh, yeah, I have to look over here, not at everybody. So it was a little in my two minutes. Right. Swinging around. I have to see on the video, if I look like I was just.

Spinning, maybe, I don't know, watching tennis.

Yeah, exactly. Back and forth, back and forth. So, yeah, well, well.

But I was gonna say, I mean, self awareness is something. So if you find yourself doing that or you're doing that for an intentional reason, I mean, you as a speaker know that. But if you're the wedding professional who's there and you see the first person have to do that, or you just go up and stand in that spot yourself and kind of imagine what you would do then make that part of your little briefing. Now it's a little bit awkward, so you're going to want to turn back. And you might want to turn back and forth because if you give it in totally in this direction, that might feel more natural to you. The other half the wedding is going to just get the back of your head.

Right.

So make that part of your briefing. It just, it's, it's communication. It's communication and, and people will appreciate that. You don't have to give them a laundry list of instructions just Right. Let them know what to expect. They're terrified. And so many of them are first time speaker. 

Yeah.

And they, and they want to get it right.

Exactly. Exactly. And they need professional help as we do with so many things. So I'm going to put it into the show notes anyway but what is your website for wedding speeches?

Authentically Funny speeches.

Com There you go. Authentically Funny speeches dot com. Beth, thank you so much for joining me. It was great to meet you there. It was great to connect over here and thanks for sharing your wisdom.

My pleasure. Thanks so much for having me.

I’m Alan Berg. Thanks for listening. If you have any questions about this or if you’d like to suggest other topics for “The Wedding Business Solutions Podcast” please let me know. My email is Alan@WeddingBusinessSolutions.com or you can  text, use the short form on this page, or call +1.732.422.6362, international 001 732 422 6362. I look forward to seeing you on the next episode. Thanks.

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Alan Berg, CSP, Global Speaking Fellow

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